I believe it's our obligation as parents to not hinder our children's growth and potential, with an extra special child, this obligation becomes more paramount. Doing for your child, instead of allowing for themselves further disables them.
Throughout the 6th Annual AMCSI Conference in Kansas City, there was a reoccurring comment that I heard from the adults (or young adults). I heard it in the panel discussion where everyone had the opportunity to ask adults with Arthrogryposis how they did it, then how they figured it out. Then in the Amyoplasia session I facilitated, again the reoccurring comment was, "Don't do everything for the kids; let them figure it out." I have always tried to make sure I am extra patient with my son. It would be substantially easier and faster for me to do it for him, BUT it's much more important for him, for his future for him to do it by himself. If he asks for help, I try my best to guide him towards figuring it out.
Throughout the 6th Annual AMCSI Conference in Kansas City, there was a reoccurring comment that I heard from the adults (or young adults). I heard it in the panel discussion where everyone had the opportunity to ask adults with Arthrogryposis how they did it, then how they figured it out. Then in the Amyoplasia session I facilitated, again the reoccurring comment was, "Don't do everything for the kids; let them figure it out." I have always tried to make sure I am extra patient with my son. It would be substantially easier and faster for me to do it for him, BUT it's much more important for him, for his future for him to do it by himself. If he asks for help, I try my best to guide him towards figuring it out.
So on my date with my son we had steak for dinner then we took a stroll through downtown Springfield. We walked around some of the square, most of the time he and I were hand in hand. At certain moments Little Louie would decide he wanted me to hold both his hands, one hand wasn't good enough. Talk about warm my heart! When it was time to walk to the movie theater, he wanted to see Cars 2 (again), we headed back. He didn't complain about the long walk but a couple of times he'd say, "I feel like I'm getting skinnier." "Are you getting tired, do you need to rest?" I would ask. "No mommy, I'm just getting skinnier." We got to Hollywood Theater and as we approached the steps he said to me, "Mommy can you please let go of my hand?" You see he needed me to let go, so that he would be able to walk up those steps alone.
When you hear the same message over and over again, you can’t ignore what’s being said. This is what my son will constantly need from me. He will constantly need me to let go so that he can do it alone. So I shall.
